unshapely picture and discoveries in inner microcosm

бесформенная картинка и открытия во внутреннем микрокосмосе

“acceptance” vs acknowledgement.?. “принятие” vs. признание (факта/наличия)

текст на русском ПОД текстом на английском

bad weather (verbally =”non-weather” in russian !
(текст на русском смотри ПОД английскими текстами)

the middle part surrounded by violet is grey with a touch of greenish under a particular lighting – this one was changing outside & through the big winow was surprising me by changing the hue 😲

I studied the result of this experiment with “unattractive” colours / pencils for a long time.
Having some quandary while trying to hear in my head the WORD for this.After all, my choice was NOT by the principle of attraction / sympathy (mine to color), but again by the principle of “I will try those colours / pencils that I hardly used.”
Although, by the way, NOW came to mind – and HERE I made a choice.
Flashed in my head, no – rather slowly, strainedly appeared, words, few, and trying to make up the description pairs. 1 word was hard to choose.
Stopped at (“reality, non-reality”.?.) “bad weather” (“non-weather” verbally in russian).
This search, and 2 words in brackets, led to stumbling thoughts. After all, this was, and is, invented by me, with the help of “keeking,” the purpose of this morning contemplative lesson:
give way to knowing of a speck of myself through the drawing-induced process of mental awareness.
1 – the application of colour to the sheet (including the process of deciding where, how, in what direction, in what and how on the sheet space combination), unexpectedly and miraculously creating a free (from thoughts) state in the head
2 – “search” for a word. The process is also contemplative (and at the same time already directed, having an internal intention!); the process of “hanging” = absorption of the image through the eyes + a sensitive sensation of my internal responses; and the admition of the formation of the word in the head; and doubt, a repetition of all of the above in 2; and finally (sometimes forced because of the inability to stop in search, dissatisfaction with the “heard” word, look-further – but you have to stop, make up your mind) CHOICE.
That is, you need to make a choice! Wow! after all, in life one often wonders what to do; hesitate; one thinks over and imagines different options and consequences, but one can hesitate endlessly!

So we have to stop and just choose something! We will never 100% know what the consequences will be! Life is unpredictable – well, sometimes Yes, and on …%.
We must make a choice and see what happens!
Wooooow! ⭕️⭕️⭕️ profound ⭕️⭕️⭕️)
3 – before I started recording, there was that thought “flow”: from “un-reality” came “acceptance”. I began to think/question about her. “Acceptance” is the allowance and acknowledgement that what is is. in another person, in life. In yourself?!
So. It is so. What am I doing with it now? Doing something? Just leaving? Am I learning to handle it (in a different way, or & in general).?.
Then I asked: “is it true that I ALWAYS have to “accept”? And I don’t agree! So I don’t accept! “This”!” Hmmmmm… If I do not agree – then I do not accept…
I imagined it as a feeling of an abstract situation. Only a feeling, a given: “I do not accept, because I do not agree.”.. Something’s stubling over here.
And then it began to clear up: they are piling together the concepts of “accept” and “acknowledge”.
I ACKNOWLEDGE the EXISTENCE of some reality as such: this (something) is reality and it (such!) is. THEN I am already faced with the choice described above: what do I do with it now, and do I do anything at all?..
Yet do I “accept” something that is real, and that I NO WAY CAN change (even if only for myself) even if I don’t agree ?!
That is it! NOT “accept” is the first step, but “ACKNOWLEDGE” the existence! “Look into the eyes of (and your own!) dragon”, do not close your eyes, do not bury your (ostrich’s) head in the sand, and do not deny what is – having seen that.
And then I will either have to “accept” it, or I’m looking for the next steps! And commit them (ideally 😊)
NOW I understand why I always stumbled on this “accept”! Felt some kind of wrongness, or understatement.
ONE’S OWN truth. The truth of ONE’S OWN life.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . wo o o ow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
SO here such an ugly picture can lead to such an awesome thought process of cognition. . . hoo. . . This is again a discovery for me. You just have to – haha – give yourself time and allow yourself to immerse . . .
it is an indescribable pleasure.
and internal enrichment❣️ t.
the inner, “micro”, the cosmos turns out to be such and is: the COSMOS

(meaning the “heart” signs are having “smiley face” inside)

после “даже если не согласна” – имеется в виду “! и ?” знаки !

Published by consciousnessandart

contemplating artist

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