Anxiety that I am still powerless before my gluttony before going to bed; that my sleep is very time-shifted (late – and-late); my day is not structured; my life is really almost unmanageable. It’s not a big deal to die. Isn’t it scary to die? It is terrible to (grow) old/be (growing) old without having had time to receive / live in a life of love, lasting joy, saturation in co-communion that feeds the soul and mind with joy and good . With close in spirit and just loving / loved ones.
That’s (why) I’m scared. I’m afraid that aging can destroy these chances. I have no family. No” family ” close in spirit. There is no one who is interested in me, my life, my talents and gifts. ___________________________ And what (to) do with this..? .. Immediately the impulse: HURRY! HURRY up! Give (let’s) the answer! Let’s (give) the solution to (of) this problem! . . . . . . And . . . . . . . . . . . ______________________________________________________________ Until! For the time being. for now: just concede this. I allow this. I accept all of this. For now. I don’t know the solution (of) yet. For now (*) do what I’m doing. Trust my-self to LIFE. I accept. Doing MY part. The solution (of) will ripen and come. Amen.